What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 00:27
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Eligendi molestiae corrupti numquam voluptatum doloremque laudantium eum.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Can you explain the meaning of "mint condition" in relation to antiques or collectibles?
Make Nazis afraid again!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Where's the Civil War everyone on the left said would happen?
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.